I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
