can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
