have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
