dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
