She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
