you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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