Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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