So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
