it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
