Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
