He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
