i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
