Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
