I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
