I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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