i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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