Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
