he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
