Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
