So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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