i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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