Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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