I think im going to throw up on grandma
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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