And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
