at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
