Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
