He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
