Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
did you just send me my own nude
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
