all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
