If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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