i barfeds in our rink
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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