Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
