i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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