I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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