You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
