Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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