I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
my sisters under your porch take her home
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
