Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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