I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Everything about him screamed your future.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How drunk are you?
Completed.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
