you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
