false alarm. still invincible.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
