i wish my penis had a tongue
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
