She is in my trunk
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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