dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
