Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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