I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You are a genius and a whore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
