I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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