I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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