she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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