So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
