none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
