I am puke
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
