then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
