did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
